Return Journey

I saw my oncologist today and the news could not have been better. My blood results were all normal, my tumour markers are right down and the herceptin is not damaging my heart. The good doctor said that I am cured, all bar the shouting. It still has not sunk in yet. In all honesty, I think this is because I never really realised how ill I was. I could have died last year if the fates had not taken over. In a sense, I did die. The old me, the one that worried, that put up with being treated badly, the unhappy me died. The one that has come out the other side is not afraid of anything, is stronger and only now, is ready to live. I was asked by several people today - what now. I have no idea. I feel like I am starting out on a fresh new page, that I have a second chance to do this and to get it right this time. When I told my little boy that his mummy was going to get better he cried. I will never forget that. My phone was hot today with everyone texting me, telling me how fantastic the news was. It really is fantastic news. I am an extremely lucky girl. I know that. My friend who has also had cancer told me that she sees cancer as a gift. I agree. It's a wake up call. Time now for me to start living. I know I am loved, I want to spend the rest of my life with the ones that I love.