My Hardest Lesson Yet

This is going to be a small segment about how I think the fates are trying to show me something. Let me give you a few facts about what has happened to me over the last year and I will let you make your own mind up.

1. I have lost 4 stone since last June. Big achievement, very proud of me.
2. My husband and I are divorcing but we are still remaining friends (very happy about the fact that are remaining friends).
3. I have met a wonderful man who I think the world of (and he thinks I'm not half bad either!). Yay!!!!
4. I have breast cancer. Was diagnosed a week ago. Bugger.

Ok, so what has this got to do with the fates? Check out the date that I started this blog on and it's general tone - exactly 2 months before I was diagnosed. Ok, lost all that weight - enabled me to find the lump quicker. And it was my new man who helped me find it - he asked me if I got tender at certain times of the month which I do sometimes, but this time I was more tender and when I checked myself (thank God I did) I found the lump. There are other things going on at the moment too - read the last Harry Potter book (you know how much a fan I am!) so finished that part successfully. When I was 12, there was a mini series on BBC called 'Maelstrom' - I missed the last part and have always wondered how it finished. Checked on YouTube yesterday, somebody posted the entire series - 2 weeks ago. There are lots of positive things too - lots of the contacts I have made through my work are pulling together so that I can carry on working from home ( I know I have got to slow down, I am not going to be silly. I will get my butt kicked if I don't.) I have friends doing research for me on the interweb about how to prepare myself for the operation. I have so many friends who are rooting for me and making me laugh. And laughter really is the best medicine. I have a gorgeous man who knows just what I need to feel better. And on the plus side? No shaving my legs for six months, a fantastic bust when I am done and maybe even less scary hair!

I know I am going to beat this. This angel is far from ready to go home yet. This has happened for a reason. I think I know why but I am not going to tell you yet - just watch this space.

If You Love Somebody, Set Them Free

Good title for a song, don't you think?! I used to think that this meant if you love somebody, let them go, if they come back to you, they want to be with you. I now think it means something completely different. Personally, if somebody let me go, I would be off and never coming back, simply because I feel something would be irretrievably damaged within a relationship if this happened. I need to feel secure and I would be always wondering if it was going to happen again. If you love somebody, make sure that they know they are loved, needed and wanted. Never let me go unless you mean it.
Now, with regards to setting somebody you love free, this is my view on it. Love itself should be free. Now you can take this in many ways. Free from conditions, free from suspicions and freely given and received. It should not be smothering. If somebody wants to be with me, I want it to be because they want to be with me, not because they feel tied to me for whatever reason. It needs to be honest and free from secrets.
Love setting them free? The person you love must be their own person. Don't stop them from being who they want to be or try to change them. They must have the freedom to be who they are. In the same respect, I need to be me within a relationship. I am me and I need to be me. Never judge each other. Accept each other for who you are. If you still love them then, and they still love you, that is a love worth hanging on to. Be free, be loved and you will be happy.